Tuesday, January 26, 2010


There was a groper on the subway today.

I've had better experiences.


Saturday, January 23, 2010


My favourite story of all times must be that of the rich man and his teacup:

Once there was a very rich man, who enjoyed collecting beautiful things. His greatest pride and joy was an exquisite teacup made from the finest china.

He used to take out his teacup now and then, and just sit there looking at it, admiring its beauty. He could be lost for hours.

The man loved his teacup more than anything else in this world. That is why he smashed it.

And this is wisdom.

It fucking beats even Beauty and the Beast.

PR: zoo-bielicious

I once again want to remind you of my other blog, where I write about slash. Not Slash as in the GNR-guitarist, but slash as in the delicious love between men. If you're into all that jazz, check it out!

zoo-bie Never Forgets

I was walking home from the supermarket the other day, when I came to think of something that happened once when I was in Italy.

My family was headed to Milano, I think, we were traveling by train. When we rolled in to the station, we got up and took down our bags, and yeah, stuff that you do when you're about to get off the train.

There was just one problem.

My panties had slipped while I had been sitting down. It was really uncomfortable, and since I was wearing a very tight skirt, everyone would be able to see. I HAD to adjust them.

Unfortunately, the compartment was crowded with people, so I turned my back away from them and carefully grabbed my panties and pulled them right. I know, I'm just discreet like that.

It wasn't until I turned around I realized.

Behind me was a window.


Do you think my heart stopped when I turned around just to find myself looking into the eyes of this middle-aged man? Who winked at me?

God, I just wanted to die.

Thursday, January 21, 2010


Just for your information, I LOVE glasses!

They're so cool and sexy and yummielicious!!!!

When I see a businessman in a suit and with glasses, I just go insane. I'd seriously let him do anything to me.

(If I think about it, he doesn't have to wear both a suit and glasses, either is fine. Or neither. I'm not picky.)

To illustrate:

Taste my smex, biatches.

zoo-bie is like a bitch in heat.

I love pics where the person in them is posing like she/he thinks he's the hottest hoe in the hood. It's so ridiculous. ♥

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Scabies ♥

Just got home from Stockholm, where:

I had my first lesson in Mandarin! <--- insert super happy face

It was really interesting, but now I'm really tired from running around trying to figure out where everything was.

I bid you all a good night!

(See, I'm so tired I'm even lying down in front of the computer.)

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

"D'you have any lubric... I mean lotion!"

Fucking hilarious.

Piggy Piggy

I've done it.

I've eaten pig.

First time in two years!


I woke up today and didn't feel too well. I was in serious pain, so I thought: Hey, let's take a painkiller and go back to bed for a while!

But you have to eat something before taking a painkiller... I decided to make som porridge, since it would give me lots of energy to study, as well as fill my stomach, not to mention it's quickly made.

It turned out I apparently was worse off than I felt. I got dizzy, started shaking and cold-sweating, and threw up for like half an hour before I gave up and realized I wouldn't be able to get that porridge down anyway.

So I went to bed for a while, I was in so much pain and just cried and cried and cried, and finally I just fell asleep from exhaustion.

When I awoke again I felt much better! I decided to take a shower and get ready for class. Tonight is my first lesson in Mandarin! But...

It turned out I once again over-estimated my health. I actually fainted in the shower, and afterwards I threw up like crazy.

I'm really worried... What will I do? I need to go to Stockholm to register at university, but I can't get up from bed without collapsing. >.<

Right now I'm only sitting up, but I still feel weak and dizzy. I think I'm gonna go rest for a while.

No happiful.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Elementary Phonetics

No day is complete without shopping!

Today I bought:

Elementary Phonetics.

... So cold.



... was my first Japanese lesson! (at DU)

I was so nervous. The lesson didn't start until 10.30 a.m., but I was up at 6 a.m. anyway. I'm really tired now...

But I did well. Since it was the first lesson, we started out with easy stuff like 挨拶 - あいさつ (greetings).

Hehe, yeah, you guessed right. I've installed the Japanese keyboard on my computer, and now I can't stop playing with my new toy.

From now on, I'll work hard and excel everyone of my classmates! I will be no. 1!

And yeah, I know I'm a genius when it comes to Paint as well.

I wish.

Sunday, January 17, 2010


Bells is out in the kitchen, cooking.

It's smelling really burnt, you know...

What is it with that girl and burning food?!

Sneaky face.


I made a discovery today.

Beneath my window were piles of some kind of dead bug.

Not nice.

I have absolutely no idea what kind of bug it is, or where they have come from.

All I know is that it's nasty.

Maybe I should clean more often?

Satan Lives In You!!

Wow... I thought I'd be pretty bad, but Satan's...

Satan's really bad.

My result for The Which Biblical Villain Are You Test...


You scored 85% Pride, 75% Envy, 65% Ambition, and 85% Deceitfulness!

You are Satan, the consummate villain, and the ascendant figure in the unholy trinity. Throughout history you have been called The Serpent, The Accuser, The Devil, Lucifer, The Prince of the Power of the Air and The Dragon, among other things. Your "compatriots" in the unholy trinity, the Antichrist and the False Prophet, are merely pawns in your futile struggle with God. Though, they probably don't know this. This is because you are a master of deception; indeed the Bible calls you "The Father of All Lies". You are also very ambitious, and you strive to be in positions of the utmost authority. Unfortunately, it was impossible for you to obtain the highest title in heaven and this is part of the reason why you decided to leave. Of course, you couldn't just leave by yourself, so you managed to use your deceptive abilities to get one third of the angels in heaven to join with you in revolt. God put down the rebellion and expelled you from heaven. To most people, it would seem foolish to start a war against God, but pride can sometimes cause people to do foolish things. In heaven, you were the most beautiful and powerful of all angels and you were well aware of this. Unfortunately, you let your pride consume you and your passions led you down the road to perdition. After you were expelled from heaven, you let another one of your attributes consume you--envy. You knew that you could never defeat God, but you could attempt to destroy humanity, his most beloved creation. Your goal is to bring as many people as possible to suffer in Hell with you. Fortunately for you, but unfortunately for the rest of us, you've been endowed with all of the attributes necessary (deceptiveness, confidence, ruthlessness, and ambition) to do a terribly good job at this.

A Child of Israel
The Serpent
The Phillistine
Judas Iscariot
The Demon
The Fallen Angel
The False Prophet
King Nebuchadnezzar
King Saul
The Antichrist

Take The Which Biblical Villain Are You Test at OkCupid


Brb, snoozing. ♥

Saturday, January 16, 2010

To Do:

[x] Buy a commuter card for train
[ ] Buy all literature
[x] Apply for study allowance
[/] Register at the different institutions
[/] Excel in everything I do

Delicious Food

Delicious food - I has it.


I'd give you the recipe for this delicious and spicy stew if it was mine to give. But it's not.

Tiny Cucumber Seal also approves:

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Face-Stuffing Marathon With em-a

When I was in Stockholm already, I wanted to meet up with my adorable baby e-ma!

We spent the day eating, visiting the following places:

Burger King

It was delicious. ♥

But at BK, the bastards stuffed my cup full of ice!!!!!

Pretty much half of it was filled with ice instead of soda.



Stockholm - There and Back Again

When I got accepted to the Chinese course, I was also told that the information about what to do and when was to be published on the homepage of the institution. After waiting patiently for several weeks, without any information being published at all, I decided to go to Stockholm and visit the institution today.

I mean, come on, the course starts on Monday, I'd like to know where to be at least some days before the actual date.

So, anyways, I packed my bag and headed to the train station.

200 SEK poorer and 2 hours of hardships later I found myself outside the Institution for Oriental Languages in Stockholm.

With a deep breath I entered the intimidating brick building.

Three minutes later, I'm out on the street again. It turned out that the exact day I decided I couldn't wait any longer, the Institution actually got their thumbs out of their asses and did what they should have done a week ago.

So yeah, I wasted 200 SEK and a day of my life for nothing.

And no, I couldn't have called them instead, because I hate talking on the phone.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010


I couldn't let go of the thought of everyday luxury, so I decided to apply a face mask.

The point with face masks is to cleanse the skin. But you see, since I'm a big fan of balance, I feel really anxious when doing them.

Seriously, a difference in input/output is really disturbing. Balance is all. That is probably why I've never managed to save up a larger amount of money.

But when doing a facial, the output of impurities exceeds the input, I just have to do something about it. So I did.


This way, the balance will remain, and everything will stay like it always has been.

God, I Just Hate Coming Up With Titles!

(Seriously, I hate it!)


After enjoying my evening on my own (spent with grammar books, I know of no better way to use my freedom), I woke up early. Like, I'm not lying when I say I woke up at 9 a.m. or maybe even earlier! The plan was that I was going to treat myself to some luxury. Dress up and put on nice make-up for no other reason than to be pretty.

But you all know me.

I went straight back to bed and slept for another couple of hours. Sweet, sweet unconsciousness.

When I finally woke up again, I didn't really feel like doing anything. Yes, I'm lazy, deal with it. But, staying true to Nietzsche, I pulled myself together. Once again I headed out, albeit sans make-up, this time to purchase some stamps.

Really close to my home, there's an ICA-store. It's a small, cozy little corner-shop, but... I hate the employees. Or, more truthfully, I hate one of the employees.

I mean, this guy is seriously creepy. He's the age of my father (probably older), and e v e r y time I see him he has to flirt with me. It's really uncomfortable. It doesn't matter how coldly I act towards him, or how rude I am, he just won't stop!

And he isn't even good-looking.

If he had been handsome in that distinguished way mature men (hahahaha, euphemisms ♥) sometimes are, then it would have been kinda fun, but as it is now... I really don't like ugly people.

And I mean, this isn't me saying that I won't befriend you if you're ugly, and that if you aren't the hottest biatch on the planet you won't have a chance with me, because despite popular belief I'm not incapable of appreciating people for their inner qualities. It's just that I, like everyone else, like to look at pretty things instead of ugly.

(Trust me, if you are ugly, don't be scared off, I'll probably like you anyway. Just like I don't like people with fucked up personalities, no matter how awesomely hot they are.)

Anyway, the creepy old man freaked me out so badly that I forgot the stamps and returned home with cookies and some butter instead.


And yeah, since I don't really want to have any more contact with that guy at ICA than absolutely necessary, I haven't got a picture of him. What I do have, though, is a picture of the parking lot at my place.

Yeah, I know... totally fascinating.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Badder Romance

I really have this penchant for low-budget remakes of famous music vids.

Comfort Food

When my attempt to pay the bills had failed so hard, I needed something to cheer me up. The grammar books just weren't enough.

Therefore: Comfort food!

This is all you need to make a delicious meal:

Two carrots
Red lentils
Crunched tomatoes
A stock cube (vegetable flavor)
Two garlic cloves
Salt, pepper and some oil

And now zoo-bie is going to teach you how to cook this amazingly tasty lentil soup.

1: Start of by heating some oil (or butter if you so prefer) in a saucepan. When it's hot enough, add the crushed garlic and curry after preference. I like my food spicy, so I take a LOT of curry!

2: Add shredded carrots.

3: Add the stock cube, the tomatoes and the lentils. I like to use crunched tomatoes with spices in them, for extra flavor. Also add some water until the soup has the desired consistency. Salt and pepper after your liking.

4: Let the soup boil for 10-15 minutes, unless the lentil package says they need to boil for longer.

5: Enjoy! 8D

And this is how happy zoo-bie gets when she eats such lovely food:


I've ordered the books to my Japanese class from Amazon Japan.

So when I had been in town, I took a little detour to 7-eleven to pay the order!

I was unsure whether it was possible to pay via 7-eleven, because the instructions were all in Japanese. On the Amazon Japan homepage they said it was possible in every 7-eleven store, though, so I decided it was worth a try.

zoo-bie: Hi, I've ordered something on the internet, and was told I could pay through you. Is that correct?

Clerk 1: Ehm, that depends on what you have ordered.

zoo-bie: Huh? Eh, I've ordered books? Why does that matter?

Clerk 1: Uh-huh... Ehm...

zoo-bie: ???

[confused pause]

zoo-bie: I got this number. [shows a serial number]

Clerk 1: Well...?

Clerk 2: Doesn't she mean she wants to send money, then?

Clerk 1: Ahaaaaaa!! :D

zoo-bie: Was it that big of a difference? >______>"

Clerk 1: But I'm still not sure whether this information is sufficient...

zoo-bie: =__________=""

Clerk 1: You can try to fill this form out anyway, but I can't guarantee that the money arrives to the right person.

zoo-bie: Whatever. [leaves the store]

So yeah, I haven't paid the bill, and today was the last day to do so. I sent a request to Amazon Japan to change the payment method, but since the order is already packaged, it's impossible to change anything.

And yes, now I'm a little worried.


Went to the library to borrow some books for my Chinese class, and now I feel like I'm on top of the world!

There's nothing to cheer zoo-bie up like books about grammar.

Late Morning

Despite going to bed early, I woke really late. Noon!

Not late compared to when I usually wake up, but then I've stayed up until 4 a.m. or something.

Belinda took a sneaky photo of me when I slept. That's scary, y'all!

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Creative Outlet

I must say I'm very impressed with my dear friend Bells. She has spent the entire day at my kitchen desk, busying her hands with these little darlings:

She makes them out of oven bake clay. They are so detailed! You can't see it in the pic, but you wouldn't believe the work she's put down on even Mario's ears! It's fantastic really...

And yeah, I'm writing about this because I haven't actually done anything today. It's 8 p.m. and I'm sitting in my pajamas. Never really got out of it actually. And like Sandy Ryerson in Glee, my only creative outlet is fanfiction. Nothing too interesting, in other words.

I would give you a pic of my lovely, disheveled appearance, but I can't afford being sued when you are traumatized. Sorry.

Sad Kitty

When Dau was getting up from bed (she obviously spent the night) we all became painfully aware that she couldn't. The reason:


She lay like a shored walrus with the face of Clark Gable, frozen to the ground in the cold January weather.

It wasn't until an hour later that she was able to rise from the bed while crying and shouting in pain. Her smooth rising was only made possible by the intense mental activity of my dear friend. She explains the secret:

"It's about having the right technique, staying calm, and never losing your patience. You have to take it in stages. The best strength is that of the will."

N.B: We reserve for possible exaggerations due to a melodramatic nature.


What better way to spend a Saturday night than to have an online-quiz marathon?


Saturday, January 9, 2010

Yummy For My Tummy

Dau, e-ma and I all have a dish that we just love: Salmon Teriyaki. So when Dau came to hang out with me today, what better than to celebrate the weekend with some luxurious food!

My kitchen is really small, so it was kinda crowded in there for a while, but in the end it worked out fine. Salmon Teriyaki is the easiest thing to cook, really.

And look how delicious it turned out!

Sparkle sparkle~!

It was truly delicious. ♥

Morning Glory

Ah, a new morning!♥

When I woke up today, Bells was gone. I have absolutely no idea where she's gone, and frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.

So what do you do when you wake up alone, with a whole day on your hands?

You try out new hair-dos, of course!

This is the result:


It didn't turn out at all like what I wanted. >.<

Now I'm going to the supermarket with my BFF Dau! :D:D We're going to make a delicious dinner tonight.

Until then!


I just wanted to tell you...

It's so freakin' cold here!

I went out a couple of days ago, and look what happened.

(Sorry for the fish-eyed look)

See that?

My lashes turned white!

There's some white in the brows as well.

Please also pay attention to how I'm shivering.

If that happens, y'all, then it's COLD.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Real Life Drama

My friend Belinda is staying with me for a couple of months. She's been here a day, but I'm already going insane. My apartment is only 18 sq. meters, so we really can't escape each other.

Today I took out the garbage. I was gone for approximately five minutes.

Not much, you might think, but during these five minutes, Bells managed to trigger the fire alarm.


I present to you, the villain in this drama:

Mr. Toaster. There's only one word for people (?) like him, and it's Evil. Evil in its purest form. I find no other explanation.

Except the failness of Bells, maybe. I leave it up to you to decide.

A Grand Opening


Did I just create a new blog?

I suppose I did.

You might ask yourself exactly why I did that. Wasn't my 10 (or something) other blogs enough? Apparently not.

So, to celebrate this historical moment, I shall introduce myself!

I won't tell you my real name, because really, I'm super-paranoid, but as you may have guessed, I'm known among friends and cyber-stalkers as zoo-bie. If you want to find me practically anywhere on interweb, just type in this beautiful name or the shorter 'zoobs', and you may be sure to find me. If you don't, that means I'm not a member of that particular community.

I'm currently 19 years of age, and I live in the beautiful country of Sweden. My residence is located in Uppsala, at the moment. Try to find me if you can! I moved here to study law, but I realized very soon that I'm not meant for that. (I was simply to lazy to even try). A month after commencing at the university here I dropped out.

It was probably the lowest moment of my life, and it has caused me a lot of trouble (mostly financially). Another twist is also that I haven't told my parents yet... Yay! During these 3-4 months (days tend to float together when you haven't got anything to occupy yourself with) I've been leeching off of my friend.

Apart from being lazy and a leech, I also like spending my money on unnecessary things and dissing people. Hopefully I won't be doing so much of that in the future, though. My New Year's resolutions were
1: Get my economy stable again (this resolution is a classic, I have it every year), and
2: Be kinder. I've noticed how people tend to like nice people more than bitches.

And yeah, I also LOVE slash. Not as in the GNR-guitarist, but as in the delicious love between two members of the male sex, the more graphic the better. But fear not, I express my sinful tendencies at other places.

And right now I'm really in the mood for instant noodles.

♥ Looking forward to share my life and thoughts with you, dolls! Taa~! ♥